英语笑话_笑话网

英语笑话

英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法,用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。幽默寓于笑话之中,它是笑话的精料,智慧之所在。笑话是幽默的载体,一个成功的笑话能流传千古,听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜,拍掌叫好!
英语笑话

1英语笑话短文

1、The Fish Net

Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?

A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.

鱼网

你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。

把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 小女孩回答道。

2、The New Teacher

George comes from school on the first of September.

George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.

I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....

新老师

9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。

乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。

妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。

2英语笑话带翻译

《律师、宝马和胳膊》

一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。

“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。

“你们律师真是物质至上,我很不舒服!”警察反驳说,“你这么关心你可恶的宝马,你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”

律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀,“天哪,我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"

《狗住旅店》

一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信,“我非常希望带着我的狗,它很干净很有教养,你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”

旅馆主人立即回了封信,“我经营旅馆很多年了,狗从没偷过毛巾,床单, 餐具,或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它,狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆,如果它为您担保,也欢迎您来。

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

发布时间:2017-07-29 英语笑话精彩阅读

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: I think that he is very ill. I am afraid that he is dead. said the do...

发布时间:2017-07-29 关于相亲的英语笑话

Blind Date After being with her all evening, the man couldnt take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excus...

发布时间:2017-07-29 小学生爆笑英语笑话五篇

小学生爆笑英语笑话篇一 Im going to draw a picture of God, a four-year-old girl said to her teacher. 一个4岁的女孩对老师说:“我要画一幅上帝的画像。” But nobody knows what God looks like, the teacher ...

发布时间:2017-07-28 英语笑话之太贵

An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman: How much this stuff? 一位耳聋并且总是嫌东西太贵的老太太走进一家商店。 她问店员:“这东西要多...

发布时间:2017-07-28 英语笑话:确认

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. I think my friend is dead! he yells. Wha...

发布时间:2017-07-28 英语笑话的在整理:Visual Training

recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field.The party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatinglythe recruit replied:...

发布时间:2017-07-28 英语笑话:A Present

A PresentKate: Mom, do you know what Im going to give you for your birthday? Mom: No, Honey, what? Kate: A nice teapot. Mom: But Ive got a nice teapot. Kate: No, you havent. Ive just dropped it. 凯特...

发布时间:2017-07-27 英语笑话Three Surgeons

Three Surgeons Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. A man came to me who had his hand cut off, said one. Today that man is a concert violinist. Thats nothing, said another. A guy ca...

发布时间:2017-07-27 关于英语笑话精选

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic. 小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。 Here is the situation, she said. a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fis...

发布时间:2017-07-27 英语笑话One Point

One Point Hanging in the hallway at Whites High School in Wabash, Ind., and the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketb...

发布时间:2017-07-27 关于救人的英语笑话

At a pre-med university in St. Louis, we had to take a difficult class in physics. One day the professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A student rudely interrupted to ask, Why do ...

发布时间:2017-07-27 关于该谁煮咖啡的英语笑话

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. 一个男人和他妻子在争论应该谁每天早晨煮咖啡。 The wife said, You should do it, because you get up first, and th...

发布时间:2017-07-27 英语笑话鉴赏

Customer:Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee.It will be wonderful if you serve me coffee free of charge today. Waiter:“Yeah,you can have a free coffee.But we will charge your money for t...

发布时间:2017-07-26 关于英语笑话:推荐信 Letter of Recommendation

When Peters learned that he was being fired, he went to see the head of human resources. Since Ive been with the firm for so long, he said, I think I deserve at least a letter of recommendation. The h...

发布时间:2017-07-26 英语笑话两篇

Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered. Youre a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here ...

发布时间:2017-07-26 精选英语笑话:区别 Difference

I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class, observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. When I say, Good aftern...

发布时间:2017-07-26 英语笑话及中文翻译:Easy or Not

Pulling alongside our drive-up bank window, a woman was not happy with her position. So she backed up and pulled closer. Still not satisfied, she backed away and tried again. After five attempts, she ...

发布时间:2017-07-26 关于英语笑话范例

关于英语笑话范例 Sir William Thompson was very deaf but he did not like people to know this. One evening he had invited several friendsto dinner, and while they were sitting at the table, one of th...

发布时间:2017-07-25 英语笑话作文:下雨

A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard. They did not have their umbrella with them, and there was nowhere to hide from the rain, so th...

发布时间:2017-07-25 关于雨伞的英语笑话

The Umbrella A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred poun...